So I chose this social outlet because out of all the sites. This is the one who most people don’t look at. So I don’t know how she feels but I feel shitty. It’s pretty hard to tell someone you care about them and then go around and act like nothing has happened. Maybe I’m not use to not having that lingering feeling, maybe I am just upset because I feel like I am the only one suffering. Regardless, this is a pretty depressing time for me. 1.5 years just thrown away like nothing has ever happened. She goes along and hangs out with her friends, I don’t even know if she cares anymore. It seems to me like she is over me now. And I’m a prideful person, I don’t take well to sympathy. I would rather just take it as it goes and deal with it. But it’s just so hard and I am suffering so much. I never really wanted to end things, I just didn’t want to be in a one-sided relationship. It’s a lose lose for me because she is experiencing life her own way enjoying herself while I am here struggling to find consistency. It’s tough, investing so much emotion into the relationship then just watch it disappear. Texting like nothing happened one day then just cut off completely the next. Nothing gradual, the sense of closure was there but it just was not to my liking. So I’m trying to cope the only way I know how. Questions I want to ask. I just wish this process was easier. The facade I put up can only last so long. And sadly this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s her. Who knows but who cares. I’m just tired of all of this. It gets exhausting.
While I have been at AIT I have done many things. I have broken rules I have had tremendous amounts of fun and met people that have made the experience even better. I went to Virginia Beach. I drank at noon and even drank at 9am lol. I learnt to firefight, drive a vessel, how to navigate and how to tell what a vessel is what it’s doing and how it’s doing it based on the lights it shows. I have learned honestly too much in such a short amount of time but it’s like 8 hour classes 5 days a week and two tests each week -_- crazy. But I have been cheating on tumblr with instagram. Lol I have been active on that so if you want see what I do. Follow me on codizzle. :D I shall keep thy posted on here as well :)
Went to Busch Gardens today and it was awesome. Went on every roller coaster even though I hate heights. I conquered that feat. But It was an awesome day. Then shit happened and it honestly ruined my day. Until I found out that I got promoted to a specialist. But I have to wait for my orders to come in. It is one rank below a sergeant (NCO). Which excites me to think about it. Because it means a bigger paycheck, and I am all about the money. Yet even though all of this good stuff has happened. That bad event still lingers so…and it angers me. Fuck the bullshit.
So in conclusion this day averaged out to be rather mediocre.
It’s only been a week and people are losing their military bearing. People like this are a disgrace to the military. Talking in formation, talking back to the person in charge, just unacceptable. And I have to be here the whole time they are here. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here. AIT is chill. The people aren’t. People need to remember that they are in the Army. This morning just pissed me off.
And I can say I am finally getting use to this place. It was 100 degrees today. Crazy, passed my first test and it was easy. Splices and knots and hitches. I learned so much. It’s like 8 hours of cramming everyday. It’s crazy and wake up is at 430am. I still sleep at 12. And my battle buddy is from Renton and is from my unit. So things are gravy baby. Just 4.5 more weeks and I shall be through. And that money is coming in. Also, sweating off my weight so I am in hella shape. This place is mad good yo. I can definitely see me making this a career. But I am not. Lol I’m going to school. But everything here is smooth sailing. Virginia is hot!